Top Ten Tuesday – Fairy Tales

toptentuesday

Ten Fairytale Retellings I’ve Read/Want To Read (or you could do fairy tales I want to be retold or fairy tales I love)

Most if not all of our classic fairy tales are pretty gruesome, actually I think they may haven started the original horror genre. I mean really what mother sends a huntsman out to kill her daughter, cut out her heart and lungs, so she can have them for dinner and then meets her inevitable fate by being forced to wear hot iron shoes and dance until she dies.

I personally, and maybe this something about my personality; but I would like to see some of the our classic fairy tales redone close to the way the way they were originally written and perhaps with a twist on how it would be viewed in today’s social world. And not that bastardized Disney crap that keeps getting recycled every few years.

1. Little Red Riding Hood

So Red has gone through several incarnations, but the original Red Riding Hood has a sexual angle to it. Red tries to outwit the wolf by doing a striptease for the wolf while he is lying in bed with dressed as her grandmother and while he’s distracted she tries to make a run for it. Great theory right. Well, FAIL!

Before Red does a striptease the bit that got filtered and is perhaps pretty gross is that the Wolf dissects Grandmother, then invites Red in for a meal of her flesh. Then he has her for a midnight snack.

2. Cinderella

Cinderella has been around a hella long time. One version dates back to 850 A.D. China called Yeh-Hsien. Perrault’s version is the one Disney chose to make and perhaps with good reason. In the earlier version Cinderella’s stepmother is a mean hag of a woman, who tries to pawn her ugh-mo daughters off on the Prince and that’s where the similarities cease. There is no bippity boppity boo-ing fairy god mother that gets her all dolled up for the ball, no mice that help with the dress, no pum’kin carriage. What we do have is a lot of blood and gore. The original version had one step-sister cut off toes in order to fit her big ole foot into the slipper and the other sister lopped the heel of her foot. Miraculously some birds tell the prince about this and when he realizes it’s Cinderella he wants the birds peck out he sisters’ and the step-mother’s eyes. Definitely not the bed time story I’d tell to my little crumb snatchers.

3. Rapunzel

We all know the tale of ‘Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair’. Well, she does. A lot. So much so that she ends up pregnant with the princes baby. The witch, not to have any competition, chops off Rapunzel’s hair and magically transports her far away, where she lives as a beggar and after a few months, two hungry mouths to feed. As for the prince, the witch lures him up and then pushes him from the window. Some thorn bushes break his fall, but also poke out his eyes. Seems like overkill, right? Some people don’t like for anyone to shine. For all this extra bloodshed, however, there’s still a happy ending.

4. The Three Bears

This classic has been around for over 200 years. The earliest incarnation of the story is that the three bears were bachelor bears and described as such “a Little, Small, Wee Bear, a Middle-sized Bear, and a Great, Huge Bear”, and the intruder was not a cute adorable golden-haired girl, but an old hag of woman, who is described at various points in the story as impudent, bad, foul-mouthed, ugly, dirty and a vagrant deserving of a stint in the house of correction. When she’s discovered in the little bears bed, she gets up with a start and jumps out the window to never be seen again.

So, how do you think Hollywood would treat these fairy tales?

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